Being an Ally

When I was a doctoral student at the University of Virginia (2000-04), I had the good fortune to land assistanceship in the Office of the Dean of Students. Aside from being the only way I kept body and soul together, I got to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with professionals who were ahead of their time in their work with diversity, equity, and inclusion. I had vague notions of the rightness of these concepts, but I didn’t know to use those terms, and my thoughts were far from a unified, well-articulated belief system. I was just the intern, but my colleagues, who could sense some potential, taught me things about the world that I now recognize are fundamental truths. It was truly life-altering, and it set me on the path that led me to Greenhill.At one point, Penny Rue, then the Dean of Students, decided she wanted to create a “Speaker’s Bureau” on various topics that could be prepped as seminars to use with student groups (Greenhill’s Advancing Core Principles group is working on a similar project right now). One of the topics was “White Privilege.” I remember thinking the term felt jarring, but keep in mind that this was 2002. I volunteered to help prepare the seminar, mostly because I was hoping this person named Marianne, who worked in the Dean’s office, would wind up on the committee. She didn’t. Foiled again! As it turned out, I grew a great deal from being involved the process; as with many important things in my life, I unwittingly backed into something transformative.My colleagues – deans in various offices at the school – wrestled each week to develop a coherent discourse on how to describe white identity…and to challenge it in ways that would provoke and educate the undergrads, but not alienate them. I wrestled with trying not to say something stupid. I also struggled not to feel insulted for being lumped into this “privileged” group, given that at any given week I had about $20 in my checking account (as I said, my understanding of white privilege was limited).That work was confusing and hard then, even in the largely liberal confines of a university setting, and it’s confusing and hard now.Recently, the creation of a “white ally” affinity group at Greenhill and the subsequent communication about it has caught the attention of a segment of our school community – in some cases, it created some very strong emotions. The messaging has calmed some, inspired others, and confused some more. That it caused a stir is not surprising; opinions about affinity groups are mixed, and these days any group focused on white racial identity – in whole or in part -- is bound to be viewed skeptically at best. And the term “white ally” is a bit clunky. It’s also not surprising that there is a fair bit of misinformation about white ally groups in general and the purpose of such a group at Greenhill. I’d like to spend some time here clarifying how this group fits at Greenhill, how it affects our students, and what it means for our community.At schools like Greenhill, student affinity groups based on race, ethnicity, and religion are not new, though we haven’t always called them that. We have several such student affinity groups in our Lower, Middle, and Upper Schools, some of which have existed for years. It’s important to note that at Greenhill, these groups were each started by our students. Even when the adults perceived a need for a particular group, we have waited for the initiative to come from our students.In general, affinity groups are formed by students who coalesce around a shared interest, background, or identity. Critics of affinity groups view them as divisive and anti-community. Some believe that joining an affinity group is tantamount to “racial separatism” and “opting out” of the broader community. Critics of these groups at colleges and universities lament the growth of “the diversity bureaucracy” and “the culture of belonging.” (I hope that all visitors leave our campus under the impression that Greenhill’s culture is one of “belonging,” but I understand their argument.). These days, the rhetoric surrounding affinity groups can quickly become charged; examples of this are legion.In my experience, students don’t use affinity groups to self-segregate. Often, students who find themselves in the minority (based on race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.) in any community need the chance to share their experiences and have them validated and supported before they can feel comfortable “opting in” with the majority. Feeling safe and included profoundly impacts all aspects of school life, including one’s ability to learn.Affinity groups provide a safe space and a respite from the rigors of daily life at school. I often see students using their PE and fine arts classes in the same way – especially students with learning differences. Over 55 minutes, you can see them uncoil, let their guard down, and reveal their true selves. Those classes are some of the few times of the day when they feel like they don’t have to defend themselves. If you think I’m exaggerating, you haven’t shadowed an Upper School student recently. The school day can be an uphill climb for our students.The school day can be particularly challenging for students who do not see themselves reflected in the majority culture. Having had the privilege of sitting in on discussions with our student affinity groups, it is clear to me that the students’ experience at Greenhill is significantly different – and in many cases, significantly harder – than their peers in the majority. Time spent in affinity groups provides not only solid ground on which our students can stand but also a chance to name the challenges they face, identify their root causes, and make suggestions for improvement in a collective voice.It’s always hard to hear that our efforts to create an equitable and inclusive community fall short at times... that this school we love so much can sometimes be part of the problem rather than the solution. And, of course, it’s important to remember that none of us (especially teenagers) has a completely unbiased view of any situation. But I am always going to err on the side of creating honest dialogue in the hope of improving the school, and affinity groups are an effective incubator of that very thing.Like other affinity groups based on race, white ally groups provide an opportunity for white students to share their experiences and challenges with peers who share their perspective. What challenges?!? might be a natural first reaction, but there’s more to it than that. Sharing experiences is not the sole purpose of a white ally group. In addition to that, white students learn about white identity (yes, there is one); name and challenge white privilege; and, most important, learn how to support members of underrepresented groups. It is not, as some of our students seemed to voice recently, a white power group, and nor is it a group for students of any particular political persuasion.In fact, many schools have white ally affinity groups, and I support starting such a group at Greenhill. I must admit I was surprised at how aggressively critical some of our students were of their peers who expressed an interest in being a part of it. Upper School teachers Linda Woolley (English) and Amy Bresie ’96 (history) are the group’s faculty advisors; anyone who knows them should have a window into the group’s intended function. This group is in great hands.I firmly stand behind our students’ right to have these affinity groups – including our white ally group. When they are well-led by caring adults (as ours are), affinity groups can be an essential source of support for our students, an incubator of trust, and a platform for cohesion and community building.There are a few immutable truths that we must agree on. One, being an adolescent today is both wonderful and hard, and an adolescent’s perspective is unique... and limited. Two, forging a cohesive community out of all our glorious difference is a singular challenge. Each day at Greenhill, we intentionally choose to be a particular kind of community: one that is diverse, equitable, and inclusive. In doing so, we do not choose the easy path. Given those two truths, we are going to trip and stumble a fair bit, and we have to give ourselves permission for that to happen. Tripping and stumbling mean we’re trying. It also means we’re moving forward.